you must be a bit interested if you clicked on the link that brought you here.

so I hope I don't disappoint you too much when I tell you a little about myself. the real me and the bear persona that i usually wear.

I'm still new to the anime world, only being 1 year and 4 months old in that respect.

in realtime years, I'm really 38. but I feel a lot younger sometimes.

or at least act like it.

my first introduction to anime was the cartoon network version of sailor moon, and decided that it just wasn't for me. I couldn't stand the screetching of Sailor Moon, it gave me a headache.

my SigO tried to convince me to watch this other anime being shown at the same time called Gundam Wing. he would even tape it for me everyday for when I got home. still, I was very resistant to watch a bunch of kids in big machines, but I found myself much more interested in Dragon Ball Z. so, I guess you could say my first anime love was Dragon Ball Z and Vegeta. in fact, my first mailing list was saiyanslash at yahoo groups. and my first fanfic ever was a Dragon Ball Z fic, called The Hunt.

SigO managed to wear me down and I did crumble to watch a few episodes of Gundam Wing. i first fell in love with Treize Kushrenada and he still remains my favorite of all Gundam Wing characters of all time.

I joined the Gundam_Yaoi mailing list and thus began my long slide into anime whoredom. I couldn't, and still can't, get enough. when I joined the list, I first picked up in the middle of steelsong's Flash (you can read it at her site) and I was lost to Gundam Wing ever since. the immense talent for writing fanfiction that I have come across since February 2001 has been inspiring. there are so many talented writiers out there, I am humbled every time I put pen to paper (or words to blank screen).

in real life I am a radiation safety specialist, working for a big telecommunications company. i live with my SigO and my little lovely pooch, Lucy.

but who is bearilou, the bear?

the bear is also me. it is the face I present the online world. on the inside I look remarkably like the real me, but on the outside, I'm much cuter. Fuzzy white hair (except when I have just gorged on a kill, then it is kinda pinkish red), cute little round ears on the top of my sloping head.

I've been a bear lover ever since I can remember, specifically polar bears. the first polar bear I ever got was from my now ex-husband. it was a gund. he isn't so white anymore. but he is still with me and goes with me on trips. I now own over 100 polar bears in one form or another.

the more research I did on polar bears, the more in love I fell with these magnificant creatures.

so it seemed only natural that I take on the aspects of a polar bear.

and I do, probably to the annoyance of my online friends. but ...::shrugs:: if they love me, they will endure.

all I can say in my defence is that I am having a hell of a good time with all this, even though sometimes the antics of the mailing lists bother the crap out of me. I have to threaten to whop them with Wallace the Walrus. otherwise, Marcel and I just manage to stay blissfully in lurker mode.

maybe one day I will grow up and act my age. but it won't be until I figure out how I'm supposed to act "my age". if you have any opinions, keep them to yourself.

I'm having fun. don't ruin it for me. I'll have to eat you. and Marcel will whop away on you with his flippers.

-the bear