by Willowbranch
"Here we are, Q-man!" Duo gestured broadly towards a wide span of empty beach, lit just barely by the stars and thumbnail- shaped moon. "Aren't you impressed?"
"I would be, if you made the beach. However, I'll just stick with `calm gratitude' for now." Quatre found distinct pleasure in hearing the chuckles of his comrades behind him, and Duo's face vault transitioning into riotous giggles at Quatre's matter-of- fact delivery.
"Anyway," Duo started, wiping away a tear, "we're going to have a bonfire! Let's go!" Duo led the way through patches of dune grass, until they reached a semicircle of logs facing the water and the subdued sound of the waves. After taking off their shoes and socks they all pitched in to find good drift wood among the tall dune grass. They all milled around in no particular order, until Quatre noticed that he and Trowa had become somewhat separated from the rest of the group, moving around each other with an unconsciously rhythmic ease. Trowa looked up at Quatre, realizing their close proximity.
"Quatre, are you having a good time?" He asked casually. Though with Trowa, most things sounded casual.
"Oh, yes! This has been the best birthday I've had since, well, you know. . ." Quatre trailed off, feeling a bit uncomfortable. "You all are so thoughtful, though. I'm very lucky!" He smiled one of his sunniest smiles. Oh, I shouldn't have mentioned that. . . Quatre thought behind the smile. Although I do like to remember the happy times with Trowa--and the birthdays I had with him were always very sweet. . .except for one
Trowa's expression seemed to reflect Quatre's inner thoughts-- his eyes clouded a bit, and he shifted his weight uncomfortably. He had a fleeting thought of their last moments together as lovers.
"Trowa! What's wrong?! Why are you leaving?!" Quatre cried urgently to Trowa's receding form. He teared up from his own frustration, and the anguish he felt from Trowa.
Trowa half-turned, unable to meet Quatre's eyes. Quatre could see that Trowa was shaking with barely suppressed emotion. "I can't stay here if you don't really love me, Quatre." He said with very little of his usual calm left.
"But, I do love you, Trowa!" Quatre said desperately, though even he knew in his heart that it wasn't the kind of love Trowa was talking about.
Trowa turned sharply the rest of the way around, looking like he might hit Quatre. Quatre almost wished he would. "I know, Quatre. But it isn't the same as what I feel for you." He turned back, taking a few strides toward the door.
"Where are you going? Will you come back?" Quatre wondered. They had lived together for a few months, and all of Trowa's belongings were still in the apartment.
"I have to be alone for awhile, Quatre. I'll come back for my stuff." He said quietly, his head down and his back facing Quatre.
"Then it's over?" Quatre asked in a very small voice. Fear flitted around his chest like a panicked bird.
"It's over." Trowa's head straightened up, he opened the door and walked through it, leaving it open behind him.
A gust of fresh air came in through the door and swept around the room. It circled uncaringly around Quatre's still form and knocked about the tiny discarded box in which a gold band gleamed with an aqua stone the shade of Quatre's eyes.
Shortly following their breakup, before Quatre really understood what had happened, Duo came over to his apartment half-drunk and full of self-loathing after a colossal fight with Heero. Without really thinking about it, the two tried to forget themselves for a time in each other--but when the morning came it was the beginning of a brief but emotionally glacial period of time in their group. Surprisingly, Wufei was instrumental in helping to patch things up in the group, reminding all of them of who they were and how important their jobs were. Coming from a family that arranged marriages, Wufei had a deep capacity of knowledge about conflict and the importance of a strongly bonded group to work problems out together.
With time, Quatre learned that what he had felt for Trowa was only puppy love at best, and physical lust at worst. He had been too young to know the difference.
Trowa shook himself out of his thoughts. "Quatre--I'm really glad to have you as a friend." He put a brotherly hand on Quatre's shoulder. He smiled then, looking a bit mischievous. "And don't wait too much longer."
"Huh?" Quatre was genuinely surprised. But Trowa had already taken his share of logs and was walking away to the fire pit. What was that about? It seemed as though Trowa was aware of something he was not.
Following Trowa back to the bonfire circle, Quatre found Duo and Wufei working diligently together to build and then start the fire in its blackened center. The blond put down the logs he was carrying near them, then stood watching them work. "How did you guys find this place?" He asked the group in general.
"Oh! It was all Noin's idea. She showed me how to get here and everything!" Duo piped up as he wiped his brow and smeared a line of soot there in the process.
"How did she know about this place? Did she tell you?"
"I don't know! I guess she just found it on a walk or something." Duo shrugged and batted Wufei's hand away that was trying to clean the soot off his forehead.
Quatre was amused at their antics and turned to see if Heero noticed it too. He caught Heero's eye and saw the tiny smile of his in return--then he was suddenly awash in feeling, an ache in his heart and a weakness in his limbs, and once again he wondered if those were truly all his own feelings, or Heero's. He was starting to think it was both.
He sat down next to Heero, trying not to reveal the shakiness in his body, and succeeding--mostly. At that moment, Wufei got the fire started.
They passed the next couple of hours talking and laughing, sometimes falling into comfortable silences where they all just stared into the fire. The dune grass swayed back and forth with the breeze, and the stars light reached out to them from so far away it could only be called devotion.
Duo gave a huge yawn, not bothering to cover his mouth.
"Tired, Duo?" Trowa asked, amused.
"Nah!" Duo said immediately. Then, "Okay, yeah. But only a little bit!" Wufei stared him down. "Okay, a lot!"
"You should get some rest, Duo." Trowa recommended. He stood up and held out a hand to Duo. Duo took it, smiling gratefully.
"Sorry Q! But I think I should head home."
"That's fine, Duo--it's been a long day!" Quatre smiled. He wanted to stay longer in this place, and he would even if they all left. He saw Wufei get up, too.
"I'm tired as well. Trowa, I'll help you take the idiot home."
"Hey!" Duo said indignantly, rather like a sleepy child.
"Happy Birthday, Quatre. I hope you have a nice weekend!" Trowa seemed to be smirking at him, but Quatre couldn't tell for sure in the dim firelight.
"Thanks, Trowa. Same to all of you! The second part, I mean."
The three leaving bodies of his friends all chorused goodbyes to Quatre and Heero, then left soon after into the darkness. Quatre thought Wufei and Trowa looked rather like they were anticipating something, but his own heart hammering in his chest drowned out those thoughts. He swallowed then turned to Heero.
"Are you feeling tired, Heero?" He asked. Heero's face glowed orange in the firelight, and when he looked at Quatre his eyes seemed to be full of the dancing flames.
"No." He said quietly.
Silence.
Quatre felt a rush of excitement. "Then, do you--I mean, would you, um, like to tell me what you were going to before?"
"Yes." He said quietly, again.
Silence.
Quatre had the feeling that Heero might be doing this on purpose. His cheeks felt very warm, even though it was getting cold and the fire was burning low. He wiped his hands on his pants, because they had been sweating. He looked into Heero's eyes and thought he knew already what Heero was going to say--at least an idea.
Heero had turned toward him, and reached out for Quatre's hand. Quatre anticipated it and reached back, their hands colliding a bit before becoming entwined. "Quatre, I--" Heero looked down at their hands together, nervously.
Quatre realized he was holding his breath, and let it out slowly.
"Quatre, I feel that. . .this past year has been an awakening for me. You're so patient with me, and I--I've told you so much that no one knows, even things I didn't know." He paused, catching Quatre's eyes and holding them; dark blue holding aqua. "I have had strong feelings for you for--I don't recall how long now, and I had to tell you, even though I know how complicated this could make everything--with Duo and Trowa, I mean." Heero looked immensely conflicted, wanting to reach out but draw back at the same time.
"But in spite of that, I still--I still want to be with you so much, and I--" his voice broke, and Quatre silenced him with his other hand- -his fingers trembled as he held them over Heero's mouth.
"Yes, Heero--I--I want to be with you, too. I can't believe how sudden it all seems, but I felt I knew for awhile now." He closed his eyes, unsure of what to do next. They both seemed to be at a standstill; waiting at the edge of a cliff before letting themselves fall off and into the unknown.
Quatre opened his eyes. Heero's eyes looked pained, torn but hopeful--the most emotion Quatre had ever seen in the Wing pilot's face.
He heard Trowa's words in his mind again: "Don't wait too long." And he understood.
The hand he was holding over Heero's mouth moved to the side, his thumb stroking Heero's bottom lip. They were moving closer, Quatre hardly aware of it, and he saw Heero's lips part and his eyes become half-lidded--and then it was happening, gently at first until a deep sound emanated from Heero and they kissed more deeply, passionately. Quatre moaned as he felt all his skin that was touching Heero tingle, and he wanted more, he had to have more but they were too far apart, even though Heero's tongue was licking the blond's upper lip as if asking permission for entrance and Quatre responded by pulling Heero closer, and they explored one another's mouths achingly slowly.
It's been so long and this is so intense--but we can't do it here, we have to go somewhere. . . He pulled away from Heero, looking into the eyes that burned brightly at him with such desire. He stood and pulled Heero with him, bringing their bodies together for another quick kiss and told him that they should go back to his place. Heero almost looked like he was going to say no, that he couldn't wait, but common sense came back to him and he nodded, allowing himself to be pulled along with Quatre's rapid strides.
They reached the subway station, some people staring at them because of their held hands, or because of their beautiful, flushed faces--or perhaps both. Quatre found it very difficult not to touch Heero as much as he wanted during the trip back to his apartment, and he thought Heero looked equally frustrated, if not more.
Finally they arrived at the right stop, both of them almost running now to get to a private space. When they got to the elevator of Quatre's building, they almost collided with each other in their haste to get close. Heero suddenly had Quatre pinned, breathless against the elevator wall, but they had to separate once again when at the fourth floor some moron got on with a screaming kid--Heero kept one arm around Quatre's waist as they endured six more floors of the horrible noise.
They reached Quatre's floor, and Heero had to steal another kiss before Quatre could get his key in the door. The finally got in, and Quatre headed for the kitchen for some reason. Heero stared after him incredulously.
"Can I make you some tea?" He asked Heero, grinning from ear to ear. He laughed as Heero smirked and pulled him out of the kitchen and dragged him to the bedroom.
"You're going to pay for that." Heero stated calmly, taking off the laughing blond's shirt and tossing it away. They tumbled onto the bed together.
"I hope so." Quatre watched as the rest of the clothes Duo had picked out for him get thrown to the floor and he hurried to do the same to Heero.
Their kisses had become more knowing, and Heero took the lead at first, lying half on top of his new lover with one muscled thigh drawn up to rub against Quatre's growing arousal. Finally their clothes were gone and Quatre reeled for a moment in the sensation of Heero's warm body pressed so firmly against his own, Heero's tongue thrust deep into his mouth--he gave back as much as Heero gave--he wanted to go faster but he wanted to savor everything at the same time--Heero seemed to know this and broke off the kiss to just look at Quatre again.
"Heero." Quatre murmured. "You're really here, aren't you?"
"Yeah." He smiled his tiny smile, eyes even darker blue with desire. "Happy Birthday."
With that, Quatre decided to usurp Heero's position, rolling them over so he was on top. His mind on exploration, he began licking and kissing his way down Heero's beautiful body--waves of the scent of their mingled desire came at him as he traveled down Heero's sensitive neck, to the collar bone, to the expansive chest. Heero's head went back sharply as Quatre mouthed one brown nipple and rubbed his fingers lightly over the other. He watched with the corner of his eye Heero's reactions to his attention--Heero's hands were clenching and unclenching in the bed sheets.
He discovered that Heero didn't make many vocal noises unless something Quatre did was especially good--Quatre found that he enjoyed the challenge of extracting more sounds out of his new lover.
The blond had now reached the part of Heero that was straining upwards, completely untouched yet--Quatre looked down at it then back up to Heero, their eyes locking before Quatre dipped his head down to kiss the tip--Heero's hips surged upwards and he gasped, but Quatre had moved to the side and gently pressed Heero's hips back down to the mattress. The blond crawled back up his lover's trembling body and kissed his lips in the same way, bringing his hand down to stroke Heero's erection lightly.
"Quatre. . .ah! Quatre, don't tease--"
Quatre moved back down his lover's body and decided it was time to quicken the pace. He reached his lover's straining hips and replaced his hand with his tongue, licking the underside and tucking his lips around his teeth to slide it into his mouth. Heero's hands became tangled in Quatre's blond locks, and Quatre eased the pressure on his head by taking one of Heero's hands in his own and holding it while he moved his head up and down slowly over the slippery shaft, the tip hitting the back of his relaxed throat rhythmically. He began humming a slow, sad melody that made Heero cry out from the vibration.
"Ah!. . .huhn!. . .Quatre--" Heero was close, so close--Quatre paused to wet his finger in his lover's mouth, then with one quick motion slipped it inside him, searching for the G-spot--
Heero's hips bucked helplessly and frantically into Quatre's throat, straining into an arched bow of tension, then finally collapsing bonelessly back on the mattress, panting.
Quatre felt dizzy from all the exertion, though feeling quite happy with himself. He loved giving pleasure, and he had thought Heero would want to take over--not that he would have complained, not at all--but he was glad Heero also obviously liked letting another be in control.
"Quatre, I'm so sorry--you're still unsatisfied." Heero looked up at his lover through sated eyes and placed his hand over the arm Quatre had slung around his waist.
"Don't be sorry Heero. This is a perfect moment." Quatre looked down at Heero, propped up on his elbow. His arousal was pressed tightly against Heero's hip, but it seemed to not bother him as he lazily kissed Heero's face, neck and ears, waiting for Heero to want more.
"I had no idea you were this giving." Heero smirked weakly. He turned on his side toward the blond, put his thigh against Quatre's erection as he did before, and rubbed it in tiny circles. Quatre's breath caught, and his eyes fluttered shut, mouth open.
Heero watched his lover's slack face and quickly became hard again. "I want you inside me."
Quatre swallowed thickly in surprise. If possible, he desired Heero even more now. The look in his eyes took Heero's breath away.
"Wait here." Quatre hurried to the bathroom, where he knew he kept a spare tube of lubricant. When he returned, he found Heero was sitting up, looking at him a little nervously and flushing darker than he was before.
Quatre crawled back onto the bed and took Heero's parted lips, running hands over his body and finally resting one of them on his lover's cheek. He pulled away for air and watched Heero's face. "Are you sure this is all right with you?" Quatre asked, looking concerned.
"Of course. I said so, didn't I?" Even though his heart was quickening at the thought of what they were about to do.
"Turn over, then." Quatre ordered, voice husky. Heero got on his hands and knees, and waited.
His lover's body was open and vulnerable, like a dark flower for him to pluck. He took his time to prepare Heero--he wanted him to be trembling with anticipation for the act. He lubricated his fingers and began swirling them around Heero's opening and over it, listening to his intake of breath and seeing his muscles clench up initially. With his other hand he cupped Heero's balls briefly then moved up to the hardness waiting for him. While he stroked Heero's erection, he slid one finger inside him and then another--as he felt Heero's muscles relax around his fingers he jabbed deeper for the prostate.
"Huhn!" Heero's head went back and he felt his lover's arousal pulse in his hand--it was time.
Quatre positioned himself, his tip against Heero's entrance, and waited. Heero's bronze skin was glistening with sweat and his muscles were trembling beneath him--just like Quatre wanted. But still he waited, reveling in the anticipation. Finally Heero began pushing back in his impatience, and Quatre steadied him and pushed back. They both moaned brokenly at their joining.
With that, Quatre was done being slow. He thrust into Heero hard, fast and deep--only to have Heero writhe and thrust back. They were both crying out--Heero's hands ripped the sheets he was grasping and Quatre held onto his hips hard enough to bruise. The blond reached down with his slippery hand and held it over his lover's erection, not needing to move it because of Heero's already jerking pace. Heero's legs spread wider to take Quatre even deeper--it was so good, and he was already on the edge--he dived down, burying his face in the pillow and Quatre toppled over him, thrusting wildly, uncontrollably. He sent himself back into Quatre one last, impossibly deep time, and they both came--Heero all over the sheets and Quatre into Heero, so much that seed was spilling out. Quatre moved his hips a few more times into Heero, and he held Heero's softening shaft in both hands tightly while Heero spent himself.
Reluctant to pull out, Quatre gathered his trembling lover to him. Heero complied, pushing off the bed and leaned back into Quatre's arms, tipping his head back onto Quatre's shoulder and closing his eyes. Quatre mouthed his neck and earlobe, inhaling Heero's sharp musky scent with traces of. . . Gunpowder? He wondered. Duo's lonely words came back to him from earlier that night: ". . .hell, even the scent of gunpowder that never seems to wash off!" Duo seemed to be right about the gunpowder, but whether or not it affected anything about their attraction to each other was unclear. . .
Finally, Quatre dragged himself out of Heero, causing them both to gasp. His hand traveled slowly along the planes of Heero's back, watching the skin in fascination. He looked up into Heero's dark eyes--they looked as though they were filled with quiet awe. Quatre smiled and pulled Heero with him to the dry side of the bed, running fingers through his lover's damp hair.
"I didn't hurt you, did I Heero?" Quatre asked as Heero tightened his grip around the blond's waist.
A tiny smile twisted Heero's lips; the action somehow conveying volumes of reassurance. "Nothing that you need to be concerned about. It was more than fine."
A thought appeared in Quatre's head, seemingly from nowhere: The pain makes the pleasure more incredible. It sounded like Heero's voice. . . ! But that was strange. Quatre shook his head.
"What?" Heero asked, his smile fading.
"Oh! Nothing--I mean, I just had a strange thought."
"What was it?"
"I don't really remember--so it's not important." Quatre kissed him lightly, trying to will the strange feeling away. Heero didn't press the subject.
They exchanged a few openmouthed kisses until Heero moved down Quatre's neck, exploring him a little as he meant to before. Oh well, there will be other times. Heero thought, and he noticed Quatre's eyes were closed and he was breathing softly-- he was already half asleep. Heero lay his head down on its side and watched his lover's peaceful face.
"So beautiful." He murmured, burying his face in his lover's shoulder and closing his eyes.
"So're you." Quatre said it so quietly, Heero almost didn't hear it. A very short time later they were both deeply asleep.
Author's notes:
This is the conclusion. I hope you all liked the lemon as much as I liked writing it.
I had put some hints in each part for what's to come in the next arc, but I'm not entirely sure I'm going to finish that. These three are good stand alone, though.
I have a 2X4 prequel to this fic half done, but I'm kind of afraid of it. I think I'll work on it some more and post it later.
Thank you so much for your support and excitement, Aislira and Misanagi. Aislira, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I'm not archived anywhere. I hope to be someday, but that's not today. This three-part series is my only completed fanfiction. I'm currently working on a Yami no Matsuei fanfic, if you like that sort of thing. ^_^
These aren't really author's notes anymore, are they? Oh well. I wrote them anyway. *curls up feline-style and yawns* That took a lot out of me.
Love, Willowbranch